Letter to Oscar: Month Three

Dear Oscar,

Yes, this letter is overdue by two weeks.  Your mama has gotten very lazy!  You, on the other hand, have gotten very busy, and you’re learning to multitask.  You were once content to sit on Mama’s lap and suck your fist, now you want to sit and suck your fist while looking at it, reach for Mama’s hair/book/tea/keyboard, kick mama, punch Mama, and voice your opinions about the world.

You are developing a charming little laugh, especially when I give you Eskimo kisses.  I feel like a comedian with an audience of one, trying out all my new material on you.

There is now baby fat on your thighs and under your chin.  Yummy chunk that Mama likes to nom nom nom nom nom….  This is especially gratifying to see in what the La Leche League refers to as an EBF, or exclusively breastfed baby.  You went from being a tiny fragile newborn to a sturdy little boy, having never had anything but Mama’s milk.

I am just beginning to realize how much you have changed my life.  A couple of weeks ago we went walking in the woods, the same old woods that I have walked in for over a decade.  The wind started to blow, and instead of burying your face in my shoulder, you turned toward it and went oooohhh, and it became a new wind, a wind that touched your face for the first time.  I see you looking at the world with your huge blue eyes and I realize that my adventures in this life have only just begun.

 Love, Mama

A Mother’s Day

Originally, I didn’t give Mother’s Day a lot of thought.  As much as I love my own mom, I have always been a little cynical of a holiday promoted by Hallmark.  I’ve always scoffed at the men in line at the grocery store with their roses.  I’ve always hated the idea that one day is supposed to make up for a year’s worth of thankless toil.  This was all before I had a baby.

Since Oscar was born, EVERY DAY is Mother’s Day.

I wake up to that face in the morning.  Isn’t life wonderful?

My first Mother’s Day as a mom turned out to be an amazing day.  Darin and Oscar went out of their way to make the day extra special.  First of all, Oscar let me sleep in until 9:00 (after a 6:00 A.M. feeding).  Then, Darin made me breakfast-in-bed, complete with a breakfast tray and a rose.  His pancakes are delicious!

 I was so surprised to receive cards, gifts, phone calls, and text messages.  I can never express how touched I am that so many of my loved ones acknowledged my very first Mother’s Day.  Thank you to Darin & Oscar, Mom & Dave, Danna & Richard, Pat Sumer, Margaret & Jeff, Cerrina, and Matt.


Motherhood is very different than I what I expected.  The love I feel for my son goes beyond anything I have ever felt or experienced.  I am busy, sleep deprived, anxious, stressed, overwhelmed, and…HAPPY.  I enjoy all of the little things, like nursing, rinsing out cloth diapers, wiping spit-up off my shoulder, rocking a tired and cranky baby, having “conversations” with Oscar (who loves to talk as much as his mama!), lifting him out of his sleeper or car seat, watching him blow bubbles, and kissing his sweat, downy head.

Before we became parents Darin and I had a wonderful life.  We did everything we wanted to do and many of our goals and dreams had come true.  Now things revolve around Oscar, and we are both in awe of what we’ve made with our very own DNA.  Oscar is what makes today so unique and special, and I look forward to celebrating many Mother’s Days in the future, look forward to homemade cards and drawings I can put on the refrigerator.  Look forward to breakfasts in bed and disasters in the kitchen.  Look forward to sticky hands and slobbery kisses.  And for now, I look forward to waking up tomorrow morning, beside Darin and Oscar, and starting a new day.