How can I get back on the horse when I can’t find my saddle?

I keep meaning to start blogging again. Really I do. But I’m having trouble getting my blogging groove back. So I’ve decided to write about that, because I know my readers miss me. My two readers (hi Mom).

Sometimes I have trouble figuring out who I am writing for and what I should be writing about. When I first started this blog, it was for me. Then it was for my family, to document my pregnancy and Oscar’s infancy. Last summer I started reaching out to a larger audience, which is one of the most wonderful things I’ve ever done, because it’s heartwarming to receive empathy and support from mothers and writers who struggle with some of the same issues I struggle with.

Some time ago, I was privately criticized for spending time blogging “for strangers” instead of doing other things. It’s true that I am very busy, under enormous pressure at work, and mother to a magical handful of a boy named Oscar. So for awhile I questioned whether or not I even wanted to continue blogging. Then I realized that a few of my family members and friends have come to enjoy reading what I have to say, and I decided not to let the naysayers ruin it for them.

I’ve also been having trouble finding my identity as a blogger. I’ve read (with envy) the blogs of many women and writers who make money blogging, get fun products to review, or receive acclaim from the blogging world. I made the mistake of trying to be that kind of blogger and reading about how to create a successful blog. I decided I was writing about too many topics: motherhood, writing, simplicity, photography, etc., so I stopped writing altogether.

I miss it. I’ve decided to keep writing, about Oscar, about motherhood, about anything and everything. As far as I’m concerned, there are no rules. At the risk of mixing my metaphors, I’m going to build my own little baseball field in the middle of a cornfield, and if they come, they come. If they don’t, I’ll just make myself a glass of lemonade and enjoy sitting in the sun and watching the game.

Or my horse and I will just ride off into the sunset.

Ok, I don’t have a horse, but you get the idea.