Morning, Baby…or MORNING BABY!

Years ago when I was a teenager and visiting my dad, I was reading to him from the TV Guide listings. As I came to the movie ‘night, Mother, starring Sissy Spacek, my dad stopped me and said, “Wait, was that “night mother” as in “Goodnight, Mother,” or “NIGHT MOTHER!” (i.e. a horror movie)? We both cracked up.

Some mornings with Oscar are wonderful. Morning, Baby! I swing him up out of his crib, cuddle with him and nurse him in bed for awhile, watch as he body slams Darin a few times, and then take him downstairs where he plays happily in his playpen while I make coffee and turn on the computer.

I usually love mornings, which is really, really funny coming from me (I can hear the peals of laughter coming out of my family right now). I used to love mornings for one and only one activity: sleeping in.  Now, I love them for a different reason. Mornings are a time when I feel a little bit fresh, a little bit like I can manage the dysfunctional corporation that is my life like a seasoned CEO. In the mornings I am focused enough to get some writing done, and Oscar is usually content to play quietly with his toys for awhile.

Some mornings are not like that.

Some mornings I am so tired the thought of standing makes me a little bit nauseous. Some mornings I am so far behind in my work that I can’t bear to turn on my computer. Some mornings Oscar acts like a little child in a horror movie. You know the one where they smile sweetly and then eat your soul?

It occurs to me that I can’t do anything with the time, energy, and focus that it needs in order to be done well.

I can’t mother Oscar the way he deserves to be mothered. I don’t provide him with stimulating activities and well-balanced organic meals.

I can’t be a teacher and scholar who researches, writes, and thinks at the cutting edge of my field.

I can’t be a creative writer who has the time to sink into writing a novel long enough to hear my character’s voices and convey the setting in rich detail.

I can’t blog regularly enough to be a good blogger.

I can’t keep my house clean and organized, and it’s beginning to look like an episode of Hoarders.

I have no social life.

One mother I know organizes full-moon hikes, book club meetings, barbecues, and neighborhood play dates every month. Her house is immaculate.

Another mother I know travels with her kids to Costa Rica to volunteer on sustainable farms.  She speaks at the community center and shows slides of her Peace Corps work. She writes articles for national magazines.

Clearly, I suck. At everything.

I have to go now, Oscar is stuffing cereal into the printer.

Cheerios and Silent Disapproval…

4 thoughts on “Morning, Baby…or MORNING BABY!

  1. You do not suck at everything 🙂 I think those other mother’s must have some deep dark secrets or something…
    at least our houses are real (aka… messy…) and our stories are percolating somewhere, even if it’s not on paper!

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  2. I have a friend who does EVERYthing. She teaches lessons, classes, takes her kids to every activity, plans elaborate playdates, moms nights out, hosts parties and bbq’s… the list goes on. She also blogs and tweets and uploads to FB a million times a day. She makes me feel like I suck. So, my point, I guess, is that I think you are normal. You are just like me!

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  3. The important thing to know is that we all suck. Think of the bugs in Costa Rica! The dangerous undertow. Cheerios in the printer is relatively harmless. Also, studies show that kids who live in immaculate houses have more allergies. So sneeze on that clean mama.

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  4. Many people are talented at filling there life with what I call trivial time. Oh I did this and oh I do that, but when we slip away from the realm of this world we only take with us the love that we create and give. So if the only thing you did today or even tomorrow is just love your child or husband or just another human being then you have been more sucessful than the worlds scholars today.

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