Blogging in Brief: Bed Selfie

Wednesdays are my long days–I teach at night and am literally at work for twelve hours. When I get home I pretty much just put on jammies and get into bed with the kiddos to hear about their day and read with them. I had planned to get a post ready ahead of time, but I’ve had a terrible cold plus an extra busy work week. So for today’s blog you get a selfie with me and Aria hanging out in bed.

Fall in Flagstaff

As promised, I will be writing about things other than the history of photography during my October blogging streak. Today I wanted to give you a little glimpse into what the kids have been up to. Last weekend we went to the Cornucopia Festival because at the last minute the kids’ school asked for volunteers to play violin and Aria wanted to go.

The exposure here is a bit weird because although the kids were playing under an awning, the sun was shining directly at me when I took the picture.

This is Aria’s last year playing the violin. Her big concerts are in March and May, and that will be it. Neither of the kids expressed any interest in continuing the violin after second grade (when they take it during the school day). Oscar did just take up the clarinet, which he loves, and next year Aria wants to (among other things): join choir, learn guitar, take ballet, take art lessons, and become a scientist and astronaut. I’m sure she’ll do anything she wants to do.

The kids have also been busy with little personal projects at home. Oscar has discovered the art of stop-motion filmmaking and has made several short LEGO films. He loves the process and gets absorbed for hours. Here he is in his little “studio”:

Meanwhile, Aria draws constantly, going through reams of paper. She staples her drawings together into little books, bringing back memories of when I used to this as a kid. I hope she writes more books than her mom!

Finally, last week the kids participated in an annual traditional at their school called the Marshall Mustang Gallop where they run laps to raise money for the magnet programs at their school, which features not only violin, but also dance, gardening, robotics, coding, science, and leadership classes.

The kids love their school and ran their hearts out. This will Oscar’s last year at Marshall. He graduates from 5th grade in May and goes on to middle school, which starts at 6th grade here in Flagstaff. I can’t believe I’m going to have a middle school student!

I see every day how big he’s getting, but seeing him run really brought home to me how old he looks. He’s lost that baby look and I can now see how he will look as a teenager. He is such a beautiful and remarkable child. I mean, every parent thinks so, but there is something extra special about Oscar and even other people see and comment on. He is kind and thoughtful and wise beyond his years, with a healthy dose of goofball.

I’m so lucky to be a mom. I’m harried, haggard, tired, overworked, under appreciated, and can’t remember what it was like to have time alone or be bored; but I wouldn’t change a thing.

Updates! Inktober, NaNoWriMo, Photography, and More!

Hello again! Those that follow my blog (who knows why), will be happy to know that I have many posts incoming. This is an exciting time for blogging, and I plan to write a post (however brief) for each day of October. This is part of two events that happen this time of year, Inktober and NaNoWriMo. Inktober is actually for comic book artists and illustrators and requires them to do one doodle or drawing for each day of October. However, I’ve decided to do my own version, which is to blog about the history of photography. I’ll also be doing some blogging about NaNoWriMo prep and a tiny bit about teaching, travel, and family stuff.

As most of you know, I’m no longer on social media, and I love it. I don’t miss Facebook or Instagram at all, and it has been very freeing and relaxing to go about my life without having to make it look good for Facebook and Instagram likes. I know some of you miss seeing the kiddos, and are looking forward to Halloween costumes, so I will be posting a few updates about the kids this month.

I also have a novel update! Brace yourselves, this is big. My novel is currently at 51,000 words! I have written the ending, and have what is effectively a rough draft, but it’s pretty messy right now and not quite ready for readers. Typical publishing length for a mainstream novel is about 70,000-80,000 words, so I’ll also be fleshing it out and adding scenes. However, I’m spending October getting it in shape and hope to start sending it out soon. This is the closest I’ve ever been to finishing so I’m pretty excited.

First post about the history of photography coming soon!

Once More, with Feeling: Why I’m Leaving Social Media

At the end of December I took a month-long break from Facebook and Instagram, and it was great. I actually lost the urge to post, although I occasionally peeked in to check for notifications and messages. When I found myself browsing I remembered why I wanted to leave in the first place. Then, last week I went on Spring Break, and for the first time in YEARS I did not post during a vacation. It was heaven. When we got back, I reflected a bit, and then just flat-out deleted my Facebook and Instagram. I couldn’t be happier.

My problems with social media:

  • Social media is a waste of my time
  • Social media turns us all into dopamine addicts
  • Social media steals our data and makes money off of it
  • Social media perpetuates lies about our lives
  • Social media creates a false sense of intimacy

I’m closer than ever to finishing my novel, having written 250 pages and knowing the ending has made me super excited that this is the year I will finally finish. I’m also working harder at my job and taking on more responsibility, and I hate the way social media sucks away both my time and my ability to concentrate.

One way that social media accomplishes this is the through the manipulation of a brain chemical called dopamine. Every time you get a notification: someone likes or comments on a post, you get an email in your inbox, or you hear a ding–your brain gets a hit of dopamine. This is a powerful and very addictive chemical and your brain will do anything to get more. This is why when you’re active on social media you are always thinking about your next post. Your brain knows how to get its fix.

Not only do we want to post, we want to make ourselves look good, so we spend a lot of time thinking about what we should post that will make us look good. Let’s show the rest of the world that we are busy, happy, well-traveled, and well-liked. How can we make ourselves the envy of our neighbors, friends, and family? Or, at least, show them that we are as good as they are. It has been interesting for me to witness the real lives of some people who post on social media, and let me tell you, their posts do not reflect their reality. And while most of us know this on one level, I’m sure we all still feel a little bad, a little behind, and a little left out when we scroll through social media.

I’ve noticed that social media also creates a false sense of friendship and intimacy. I’ve made a lot of connections with people on Facebook, and my posts are often well-liked, but this doesn’t translate into real-world warmth and friendship beyond the scope of what I’ve posted. I’m looking to foster deeper connections with a smaller group of people.

Although a blog is also a curated look at life, and only skims the surface of intimacy, it does have a few benefits. My blog belongs to me, not Mark Zuckerberg, and I’ve disabled comments to minimize notifications. It’s more of place for me to publish my thoughts and some pictures rather than add to the endlessly scrolling newsfeed filled with people trying to prove something to each other.

There is a concept in marketing called “the bottomless bowl,” which is the idea that, as humans, we will eat more from a container that is constantly being refilled than we will from a set portion. Social media and news outlets have taken advantage of this with endlessly scrolling newsfeeds filled with misleading clickbait.

I’ve gotten to a place in my life where I want to be more conscious of how I spend my time, and I want to model that for my children. I’ve decided that the negatives of social media far outweigh the positives. Instead, I will focus more on reading books, writing, spending time outside and with my kids, and writing emails and texts to friends and family who don’t live near me. The few people who will miss my presence on social media know where to find me.

Blogging vs. Social Media

2018-11-02

Here’s a picture of my almost seven-year-old daughter who still likes to be carried. My middle-aged back does not approve. Behind us is an art installation called Seven Magic Mountains which was only meant to be up for a short time but became so popular on social media they left it up. I’m actually trying to get OFF of social media, at least for long stretches of time (I probably won’t quit altogether since it’s the only way I keep in touch with certain old friends).

I’ve dusted off the old blog, updated my domain to reflect my new name (I got married in 2017–more on that later–but my old domain will redirect here), and have decided to try writing here more than once every year or two. I can’t make any promises, but I’m feeling more and more like posting here rather than on Instagram and Facebook, for a variety of reasons including: I enjoy blogging, I own this domain rather than giving more free advertising data to Mark Zuckerberg, and blogging doesn’t carry with it the same level of distraction and dopamine addiction that social media does (this is its own post). I can also go into more detail and post more pictures of my travels and my writing. One of the things I hate about social media is that the platforms (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc.) make it virtually impossible to search, bookmark, and preserve content.

I won’t be posting to social media every time I blog, so if you’re interested in reading my content here be sure to sign up for email notifications, which you can do in the sidebar.

 

#amwriting: Process & Projects

My hopeful attempts at regular blog updates are always derailed by real life, this time I’ve been hopelessly sidetracked by summer (when teaching ends and I become a full-time mom for three months) and moving (twenty-one years of STUFF) to a new house. Now that we’re finally getting settled in and it’s almost time for everyone to go back to school (but it’s only July!), I’ve decided to start going forward with some writing projects.

There are three, to be precise, because three is the magic number, right? I’ve also heard from some time management experts that it’s good to have more than one project active (so that you can work on ones that require different levels of time and energy as needed), but that more than 3-5 projects at a time is a bad idea.

The projects:

An academic research paper, which I’m submitting for funding in a few weeks and then trying to turn into an article. This is simply to keep my career afloat, but I do like the process and I’m interested in what I’m writing about, so I can’t really complain. I’m so lucky in this day and age to like my job.

My novel. This hairball has been building for almost a decade and I’m ready to cough it up and spit it out. I’ll soon be looking for beta readers for this one, so keep your ears open if you’re interested.

Finally, I’m working a project called Timekeeper Stories, an interactive storytelling project/alternate reality game that I’ve been working on since last year (the idea came to me the day after the election-HA HA). For those of you not familiar with the genre, typically the PM (puppetmaster) stays hidden and anonymous, and the game is played is if it’s not really a game, but taking place in real life (“this is not a game”). However, this time around I’m experimenting with the genre a bit and trying some new and different things, so the frame story itself will be somewhat unconventional in that it will be autobiographical, and I will provide different different entry points to each story over time (trailheads), which will allow varied levels of participation and immersion. People will have the option to just read the story installments as they are posted, OR they can also interact with story characters and work to solve mysteries and puzzles which appear in the stories.

My motivation for this project is to include a broader audience for the stories (typically ARG audiences are a a very small, select group of people), and to play around with the potential for using this genre for educational purposes.

Why share and discuss these projects before they are completed? I recently read a book called Jay Lake’s Process of Writing, which is a distillation of his blog posts on writing. I found his blog and was sad to learn that he passed away from cancer a few years ago, but his blog is still there and I was captivated by how completely and honestly he shared his writing process: the ups and downs, the good with the bad.

There is little discussion of the writing process itself, and I think this kind of transparency not only helps writers, but students as well. There is certainly no transparency in academic writing, which is something I have struggled mightily to do and have failed at miserably, filling me with a sense of shame and isolation in my career. However, I’m determined to learn the craft and plan to share what I’ve learned here, in the hopes that it might help someone in the future.

Finally, I need the discipline of a daily writing practice, and I like the idea of creating a small amount of public accountability. Already I’ve had some feedback on social media which has greatly boosted my motivation and resulted in an extra long writing session this morning.

I’m off now, to write.

Lately

Lately, my stepdad has been sending me blogging ideas, which makes me think I should dust off the old blog and write some stuff. It’s hard when you haven’t blogged in almost a year and feel like you should write something special and momentous. Then I realized that I should just start somewhere. Anywhere.

Lately, we’ve been so busy I haven’t had time to think or write or do much of anything else. I remember when my kids were babies and people would tell me how much harder it would get when they were older. At the time, I was breastfeeding, changing diapers every hour or more, and not getting more than two hours of sleep in row. I thought they were nuts.

Now I realize that when it comes to kids, things don’t really ever get easier, they just change. I get more sleep and change fewer diapers, but now that my kids have a full array of linguistic strategies at their disposal I spend a lot more time negotiating sibling squabbles and bedtime routines, supervising homework, and discussing the finer details of bee life. Yes, I did indeed know that honey is bee puke. Thank you for reminding me, Oscar.

Lately, I’ve realized that our toy days are numbered. This first came to me when I was shopping for Oscar’s Christmas presents. It occurred to me that it would only be another year or two before he was no longer interested in toys. Certainly he will be interested in Legos, video games, art supplies, and books for many years to come, but I’m talking about little kid toys, the kind that sometimes feel like they are taking over our house. I know that one day I will blink and they will be gone, replaced by smelly clothes cast off in all directions, cell phones, and requests to borrow the car.

A few weeks ago I insisted we pull out the Thomas the Train sets and play with them. Oscar thought I was a little bit crazy but he obliged me. He played with his little sister for a short time and then lost interest in favor of a new book. I can’t tell you how much I love to see my son sitting around reading, but it gives me a pang to realize I’ll probably never see him build train tracks out into the living room again, spending hours creating one disaster after another with Thomas and Percy and Henry and James. Oh, don’t get me wrong. He still plays. He love action figures and Legos and will play for hours. But he asked me to stop putting the Thomas the Train container in his lunch box. “I’m too old for that now, Mama.”

Lately Aria has stopped calling me into her room in the middle of the night, every night (it still happens). It feels good to sleep through the night, but I looked around the other day and realized that most of the baby paraphernalia is gone from the house. I honestly don’t miss having babies around, but what bothers me is that the transitions don’t always happen with fanfare and documentation. Oh, sure, we take pictures of first steps and first days of school and lost teeth, but not of the last time our kids ride in the front seat of the shopping cart or need help getting their shoes on. Most of the transitions and changes happen in the midst of our hectic daily routine, and aren’t noticed until much later.

I’m trying to strike a balance between making it through each day as it comes, creating happy memories, and holding onto the little details that make life with children so unique. As the saying goes, it’s the longest shortest time of your life.