Blogging Pregnancy

Guess what? There’s a baby in Mommy’s tummy who will make her cry for no reason and steal your candy when you’re sleeping…

As this pregnancy progresses I am becoming less and less capable of combing my hair…

Well, I’m in the home stretch! I’m 37 weeks, which is considered full-term, and I have a repeat c-section scheduled in a little over two weeks. One of my students pointed out in class yesterday that I have developed a distinct waddle. She said, kindly and gently, “Maybe you should go home and get some rest.”

I’m on twice-weekly doctor’s appointments, for NSTs and AFI’s because I’m AMA and this baby is a PITA. LOL. Being high risk means they speak in acronyms and hushed tones around you, when they’re not squeezing goo on your belly or calling for back-up nurses to help haul you on and off the examining table. The nurses are very nice. They bring me juice boxes and cluck admiringly over my lack of stretch marks.

When I was pregnant with Oscar I never missed a weekly belly photo or weekly blog update, but this time around I simply can’t be bothered. For one thing, the first half of this pregnancy was a steaming bowl of puke coupled with crippling anxiety that something could go horribly wrong at any moment. The worst thing of all? I couldn’t stand the smell of the building I worked in. Makes going to work a ton of fun. I would sit in my car and cry, then run to my office and start eating peppermint candies until it was time to teach. For some reason, teaching has always been the easiest part of my day to get through. I didn’t get many papers graded, though. The second half of this pregnancy has consisted of back pain and acid reflux coupled with crippling anxiety that something could go horribly wrong at any moment. Kind of robs you of the wonder of life growing in your belly.

Oh? And I forgot to mention? I have a three-year-old.

When I was pregnant with said three-year-old I spent a lot of time resting on the couch and rubbing scented lotions into my belly. Took lots of pictures, read every pregnancy book website I could get my hands on, went to childbirth classes and bathed in the joyous anticipation of a brand new baby.

Now I take care of a toddler.

“MOM!!! CHANGE ME!!! Milk? I WANT TOAST! Candy? Show? THIS SHOW THIS SHOW THIS SHOW!!! PUSH PLAY!!! Play trains with me! Mom! Talk to me!”

“What do you want to talk about?”


So, yeah, I am months behind on this blog. It makes me sad, because I love reading other people’s blogs, and always think about how I should be sharing something in this space. I hope, as always, to get better about writing here.

Meanwhile, I have to go pee… (and get Oscar some juice, and grade papers, and…)


Moving Towards The Light…

Ok, that sounds a little like Poltergeist, ha ha, but I’m actually talking about spring, and the spring semester. I love January because it’s a new semester, but it’s also a semester which gets lighter and lighter and ends in summer. I teach one night class this semester, and it’s lovely to know it will get lighter instead of darker as we move forward.

Crazy semester. Two classes in-person plus one online. A graduate class that I’ve never taught before. Traveling to see student teachers. Trying to write my damn book (the same book on teaching with technology I’ve been trying to write forever). Editing a journal. Advising almost eighty students. Raising a toddler. Growing a baby.

Frankly, I’m exhausted.

But. I get to drop everything and come April, spend four months with my babies.

I never stop worrying about this pregnancy. I’m a worrier. Past struggles and losses haven’t helped. Problems early in this pregnancy haven’t helped. So far everything is OK. She has a small problem with fluid on one kidney but the level is still normal and they are monitoring it. I had to see a perinatologist yesterdy, and he and the ultrasound tech were warm and funny.

“She has beautiful anatomy. She’s just gorgeous…”

“You have a perfect cervix. Has anyone told you what a perfect cervix you have?”

Then, this little gem:

“We’ll do another ultrasound at 34 or 35 weeks and decide if we need to deliver you early.”


“There’s a small possibility that the fluid on her kidney will go up, also, for some reason with AMAs, babies can develop problems around then, and it’s better to get them out.” (AMA means “advanced maternal age.” Yep, that’s me.)

So, really, I’m very happy that it was a good scan and everything looks great. I’m hoping this little pumpkin stays put until the end of April and is born perfect and healthy. I’ll be really happy when she is in my arms nursing.

Meanwhile, I forge ahead into a crazy busy semester. Trying to keep my head above water.

It was a little lighter outside this morning than it was yesterday, and that’s a good thing.

Four Months Along: I Feel You Baby

Sixteen weeks! Every week feels like a huge celebration to me, especially because after a stressful first trimester (spotting, bleeding, cramping, and three ultrasounds to confirm viability) I never thought we’d make it this far. Our journey to create a family over the last five years has not been easy, and someday I might write about all of those ups and downs, but today I am simply happy.

Happy. Exhausted. Elated. Nervous. Queasy.

The best development over the past week has been movement. Just little pings and squiggles. I remember these first little movements from my pregnancy with Oscar, and how strange and miraculous it was to feel something alive and moving in my belly. Before that, pregnancy seemed so abstract. With Oscar I didn’t feel any of this until around week twenty, but this is my second pregnancy and I’ve heard you feel movement sooner the second time. Also, Oscar had an anterior placenta, which masks some of the early movements until the baby is bigger.

Early movement is not the only difference between this pregnancy and the last one. I am also experiencing horrible morning sickness. The first trimester was brutal. With Oscar I spent the first trimester on the couch watching the summer Olympics. This time around I’ve been working, teaching, traveling to see student teachers, trying to write a book, and raising a toddler. I was hoping to be past the worst of it after the first trimester was over, but afternoons and evenings can still be torture.

Many people have asked me if I have a preference for a boy or girl, and I can honestly say I don’t. I felt this way with Oscar too. It’s hard to have a preference when you’ve been faced with the possibility of not having a child at all.

One of the best things about this pregnancy is imaging Oscar as a big brother. He loves kids so much and I know he’s going to be a wonderful brother, in the same way that he is a wonderful son. Funny, interested, and loving. He’s already somewhat aware of the baby, but how much he understands is beyond me. Sometimes he spontaneously greets the baby or hugs it or kisses it. I’m sure when I start showing a little more, and he can feel the baby moving, it will be more real to him.


Fall is a season of harvesting, and giving thanks for the harvest. I am lucky to live with a gardener who brings all manner of wonderful vegetables into our home, after all of his hard work through the spring and summer.

I am also harvesting a lifetime of studying and working, having applied for tenure after five years of being tenure-track and after over ten years spent earning degrees. Now I wait, as the final decision for tenure won’t come until spring.

I am still working on my book about using new media in the language arts classroom. It’s a long, tedious, difficult learning process. I am lucky to have a kind, patient, and helpful editor.

Finally, we are expecting another baby in the spring! We are thrilled, but also anxious and hopeful that everything will go smoothly. If there was any child in this world who was meant to be a sibling, it’s Oscar.

I’m 14 weeks pregnant and due April 30, 2012.